In this Christian walk I have been exposed to many things. Last year was my first year I learned about the Daniel Fast. I learned about what fasting and prayer truly is about and what that means to deny yourself physically to gain something spiritually. So, this year I decided to take lent a tad bit more seriously and had to pray about what to give up to gain spiritual enlightenment.
If you know me personally, I boast myself as a person who does absolutely nothing and I do that SO well! I am a gold olympic champion winner at doing absolutely nothing at all. That in itself is what the church world calls “pride” because it is a false view of ones self. Fact is, I am a daughter, a sister, a friend, a leader, an up and coming photographer, and a determined, hard headed, stubborn hardworker that has goals and aspirations for life like any other weirdo like myself. To the normal person I do too much. To me, I do NO-THING! Ha ha. In order to begin this path of self denail, I began to pray and pray and do you know what God said to moi?! NUHTHIN’! So, I try again. **clears throat** Okay, God. Hey, it’s Mar’V again. How ya doin’? Okay so, lent is coming up and I need to give something up. Since I don’t do anything, what can I give up? **Crickets** Okay God, I see your busy. I’ll try again later.
Two days and tons of unanswered prayer later and I’m still at a loss for what to give up for lent. Now let’s pause so I can explain what lent is actually about:
Lent, the period of prayer and fasting in preparation for Easter, is 40 days long, but there are 46 days between Ash Wednesday, the first day of Lent in the Roman Catholic liturgical calendar, and Easter.
Me personally, I hold myself to the denomination of a non-denomination and I try not to hold myself to the religious practices of certain denominations. Yet, lent intrigues me. Essentially, I am fasting and praying only instead of 21 days and strictly food, I am fasting and praying for 40 days and denying myself something that’s actually keeping me away from my spiritual walk. If you’ve had any connections with God, you know the Holy Spirit downloads on you at the oddest times. There were times when I was driving, in mid convo, in the shower, or even in the middle of a good sleep; God would find a way to get through to me and speak to me. The V8 moment hit me when I had a couple of days off work and I didn’t even move. I slept on my couch for two days and the things that surrounded me was my power cord and my phone charger. I spent 48 hrs on my phone on Facebook, Snapchat, Instagram; whatever and whenever, I was surfing that net. When I finally came too, it was 2am and I was unconsciously swiping on Facebook. I’m not paying attention to anyones status, i’m just in a constant swiping motion. “So this is what you are doing?” I can’t sleep so I hopped on Facebook. “That’s the problem. You are ignoring Me when you need Me the most and I can’t help you through the screen.” B O O M! Conviction! Ladies and gents I dropped to the ground, Bible clutched to my chest, tears falling to my face. My world was going up in flames and instead of asking for help I just scrolled it away thinking things would just magically get better. W R O N G! Message was strongly recieved. I need to unplug and replug into my Bible; not just the Bible app, but the actual physical copy; and get back on track with this thing called life. So what’s been going on in these 40 days of unplugging from social media? SO GLAD YOU ASKED! Ha ha.
In these 40 days of unplugging from the world wide web, I can tell you my anxiety and depression has gone down drastically. I can tell you that I have been minding the wonderful business that God has given me and it doesn’t get any better than that. I check in with one or two my spiritual sisters and we check in for about 30 minutes and that makes my soul feel so great. I moved away, found a job and in the 2018 I’ll be in LPN school. I dropped any and everyone who has held a toxic black cloud over my life and I have learned to lean on Jesus and my family a lot heavier. Things are looking up for the Mar’Vy, which makes me full heartedly believe in the statement: “When you are at rock bottom, the only way to go is up.”
When life is coming at you hard and you feel like the walls are caving in on you, it’s okay for you to take a break. Being on a social media blackout it the healthiest thing for our heavily feelings based society. When I say that I mean the younger and younger generations are basing their self worth in how many likes and followers they have. If no one else gets anything out my blogs, I hope you understand that I am not perfect person, at the end of the day I’m just trying to see Jesus. Just working toward that makes any thing I am going through worth it. If you ever need to talk, hit me up on the S N A P! Ha ha. Now that I’m back on, hit me up!